Valentine's Day NYC Guide

We got something for everyone on our Valentine Day's List. If you are into Shows and performances, for singles, for couples or for those who are anti-valentine's day people. If you have any Valentine Day's suggestions please feel to add your 2 cents below. 

If you are into Shows and performances

Love Springs Eternal: A Reading of Poetry and Prose
Take a word from the wise at this personal reading, as senior-citizen students share works from their writing class at St. Francis College. Tales of love and loss will abound as the pupils themselves read their self-written literature—we’re sure there’s plenty of advice to be gleaned. Maroney Forum for Arts, Culture & Education (at St. Francis College), 180 Remsen St between Clinton and Court Sts, Brooklyn Heights (718-522-2300, stfranciscollege.edu). Feb 14 at 12:20pm; free.

Hector Del Curto Tango Orchestra
For an instant injection of passion, take your beau to a free show by this ten-piece band. Arrive at 6pm for an hour’s dance lesson, then put the steps into practice under the World Financial Center’s glass-vaulted ceiling during a two-hour concert. If you really want to impress, improve your moves by attending the afternoon’s dance lesson and performance by professional tango dancers (noon–2pm; free). There’s also a free draw to win a $125 Valentine’s Day gift box from Godiva Chocolates. 220 Vesey St at West St (212-417-7000, artsworldfinancialcenter.com). Feb 14 at 6–9pm; free.

Curious Frog Sonnet-a-Thon
Your mistress’s eyes are nothing like the sun, but you love her anyway. Demonstrate your knowledge of Shakespearean sonnets (or lack thereof—you’ll lose no points for trying) at this benefit for theater company Curious Frog. Taking place at the Soho20 Chelsea Gallery, this four-hour lovefest will feature a performance of all 154 of Shakespeare’s sonnets, with complimentary wine and refreshments and an open-door policy for guests to come and go as they please. “Consider us an intellectual pit stop in the grand plans of your romantic evening,” says Curious Frog executive director Reneé Rodriguez. 547 W 27th St between Tenth and Eleventh Aves (212-367-8994, curiousfrog.org). Feb 14 at 6pm; suggested donation $10.

Radio Happy Hour
After a short hiatus, this variety show and mock radio broadcast returns, with a Valentine’s Day–themed murder-mystery play, interviews, trivia and music from L.A. punks Abe Vigoda. The recorded program can be downloaded as a podcast after the event, so you can listen back to your special night long after you’ve broken up. (Le) Poisson Rouge, 158 Bleecker St at Thompson St (212-505-3474, lepoissonrouge.com). Feb 14 at 7pm; $15, advance $10.

A Six-Word Memoir Story Slam on Love and Heartbreak
Hear the tales behind pithy bons mots like “Married by Elvis, divorced by Friday,” the result of SMITH magazine’s popular online project and book. Brave audience members are then encouraged to spill their own pint-size, witty sagas. A recent fave includes “My mother warned me about you.” 92YTribeca, 200 Hudson St at Canal St (212-601-1000, 92ytribeca.org). Feb 14 at 7pm; $12, advance $10.

The Rejection Show Valentine’s Day Heartbreak Haven
Jon Friedman turns his schadenfreudefest to matters of the heart, and brings a who’s who of local comics to the stage, including Tom Shillue, Max Silvestri, Late Night with Jimmy Fallon blogger-buddy Sara Schaefer and more. You won’t leave on a downer, though: The evening ends with live music from the Defibulators, love-song karaoke and a party. The Bell House, 149 7th St between Second and Third Aves, Gowanus, Brooklyn (718-643-6510, thebellhouseny.com). Feb 14 at 7pm; $12, advance $10.

Dances of Vice: Amor y Tango
This Valentine’s special, held in the Highline Ballroom, features a tango-tinged stage show directed by Sergio Segura and Nelson Avila, starring the Strictly Tango Dance Company, Carlos Costes and Amanda Michels, and Walter and Marilynne Kane. If seeing the sensuous moves onstage doesn’t get your pulse racing, a performance of tango burlesque by Medianoche should. Amateurs get their own tutorial from 7 to 8pm, and Latin beats from JP Jofre New Tango Quartet and DJ Yesim will make sure there’s plenty of time for practice. 431 W 16th St between Ninth and Tenth Aves (212-414-5994, highlineballroom.com). Feb 14 at 7pm; $25, advance $20.

My Funny Valentine
A sense of humor is a very attractive quality. If your punch lines bomb, let a coterie of stand-up acts keep your date laughing. Seven comedians, including Mike Vecchione and betrothed Nate Bargatze, will sharpen their claws on love and relationships. “Carolines is an awesome place to spend Valentine’s Day,” says one headliner, Harrison Greenbaum. “Or as I like to call it, Hallmark Makes Money Off Your Sadness Day.” There’s an early and a late show, plus a two-drink minimum to get the blood flowing. Carolines on Broadway, 1626 Broadway between 49th and 50th Sts (212-757-4100, carolines.com). Feb 14 at 7:30, 10pm; $24.50.

A Very Red Headed Step Child Valentine’s Day
This night of comedy is dedicated to those who feel neglected on Valentine’s Day and need extra love and attention, much like the proverbial redheaded stepchild. Jared Logan and Joe DeRosa, two local talents who host the excellent weekly show Righteous Kill, host TV comics Wil Sylvince (Comedy Central) and Russ Meneve (The Tonight Show) dropping one-liners about love. Smug twosomes should get the couples’ package ($65), to feed each other chocolate-covered strawberries and share a bottle of champagne in between laughs. Comix, 353 W 14th St between Eighth and Ninth Aves (212-524-2500, comixny.com). Feb 14 at 8pm; $5 plus two-drink minimum.

A Match Made in Hell
The sultry, off-the-beaten-path cocktail den Hell Gate Social hosts singer-songwriter Laurie Lehner, backed by the four-piece Blurry Love Circus, performing covers and Lehner’s own acoustic ballads. Recline on the vintage sofas with one of HGS’s potent drinks, like the Punch Drunk Love ($6), a riff on the Rum Swizzle with dark rum, bitters, fresh berries and lime juice. Gents, if you’re looking to score, make sure to bring your A-game: You’re competing with rakish co-owner George Rallis, who will be dishing out complimentary homemade chocolate gifts to single ladies. 12-21 Astoria Blvd between 12th and 14th Sts, Astoria, Queens (718-204-8313, hellgatesocial.com). 10pm; free.

For singles 

I Like Your Glasses
Literary dating site Alikewise teams up with book-stalking blog CoverSpy to hook up horny readers. Single bibliophiles turn up to the Housing Works Bookstore Cafe with the intention of judging a book by its cover. Ignore the guy who’s into Jodi Picoult and slip your number to the girl rhapsodizing about Joan Didion. The event includes a reading from author Simon Van Booy and $3 pints of Sixpoint ale, and the first 30 novel nerds receive a free drink on arrival. 126 Crosby St between E Houston and Prince Sts (212-334-3324, housingworksbookstore.org). Feb 10 at 7pm; free.

How (Not) to Get a Date for Valentine’s Day
Cartoonist Nick Galifianakis will present his new book, If You Loved Me, You’d Think This Was Cute, at Greenpoint’s Word, but this isn’t just a book signing—it’s an old-fashioned matchmaking session! Singles are invited to bring along their favorite book for discussion, and mingle with other free agents over a glass of wine. You might meet that special person who loves Dostoyevsky as much as you do and fall head over heels in love, just in time for Valentine’s Day. If you strike out, head to Galifianakis’s advice booth and maybe you’ll find out what you’re doing wrong. Word, 126 Franklin St at Milton St, Greenpoint, Brooklyn (718-383-0096, wordbrooklyn.com). Feb 10 at 7:30pm; free.

A Valentine’s Date with Destiny: A Country Camp Mixer
The fetching fingerpickin’ gals of Menage à Twang will score this singles’ mixer by busting out original tunes and—for all you “Independent Women” (and men) out there—a batch of Destiny’s Child covers. Jot down some tidbits about yourself to take part in live matchmaking, or just get crafty making a Valentine’s card and present it to the object of your affections. Housing Works Bookstore Cafe, 126 Crosby St between E Houston and Prince Sts (212-334-3324, housingworksbookstore.org). Feb 11 at 7pm; $10.

Pre–Valentine’s Day Single Mingle
Find a warm body in time for Valentine’s Day at this Bowery mixer. R Bar hosts an evening of icebreakers (7:30–8:30pm), tarot card readings and burlesque performances for more than 150 fellow New York singles. Not finding a friend? Console yourself with a Butter Lane cupcake in the corner. 218 Bowery between Prince and Spring Sts (347-482-1392, rbarnyc.com). Feb 12 at 7:30pm; $20.

BK Hookup’s “Who Are the People in Your Neighborhood?” Pre-V-Day Dance Party
Forget about romance—the Bell House makes V-Day all about geographical convenience by asking partyers where they live—a gesture sure to help minimize the chances of a post-hookup walk of shame. Liquid courage comes in the form of free Solerno cocktails (7–8pm) and $3 Busch beers, while opportunities for innuendo are provided by Trois Pommes’s whoopie pies ($2.50). For an extra $10, join one of two speed-dating sessions and get a head start on surveying the scene. 149 7th St between Second and Third Aves, Gowanus, Brooklyn (718-643-6510, thebellhouseny.com). Feb 13 at 7pm; $10.

Missed Connections Party
The New York Transit Museum does its bit to address unrequited love with one of the most romantic events this Valentine’s Day. On a former subway platform that houses the museum’s collection of vintage subway cars, New York Times Metro reporter Alan Feuer reads his poetry, culled from Craigslist’s Missed Connections posts, and artist Sophie Blackall shows her prints inspired by the same. Participants in the Arts for Transit’s Music Under New York program—Liah Alonso and Kelly Halloran of Left on Red, and Heidi Kole—perform, and there’s free beer and chocolate subway tokens, from the Brooklyn Brewery and 5th Avenue Chocolatiere respectively. Boerum Pl at Schermerhorn St, Downtown Brooklyn (718-694-1600, mta.info/mta/museum). Feb 14 6–8pm; free.

Carnal Carnival
This raunchy evening of Valentine’s shenanigans promises $4 glasses of champagne, stand-up by Dave Hill and even a kissing booth. Presented by comedy trio Skits ’N’ Tits and burlesque group the Loose Caboose, the singles-orientated night features sexy dancers and a Michael Jackson impersonator. Bowery Poetry Club, 308 Bowery between Bleecker and E Houston Sts (212-614-0505, bowerypoetry.com). Feb 14 at 10:30pm; $8.

For couples

Pop-Up Valentines with Esther K. Smith
Show your sweetheart how handy you are with a pair of scissors and a glitter pen at this class, where you’ll learn how to make pop-up notes and envelopes under the guidance of craft guru Esther K. Smith, author of How to Make Books. Personalize your love letter with the aid of colored pencils, stickers and stamps courtesy of artsy Williamsburg spot Spacecraft. It sure beats Hallmark. 355 Bedford Ave between South 3rd and 4th Sts, Williamsburg, Brooklyn (718-599-2718, spacecraftbrooklyn.com). Feb 12 at 3pm; $20.

V-Day Sexy Sunday
Frank and fun adult store Babeland brings the endorphin rushes of sex and chocolate together for a unique workshop. Sip complimentary mimosas and learn the finer points of incorporating the sweet stuff into your bedroom antics. You’ll discover which brands of chocolate work best on the body, how to use chocolate as a sexual reward and the history of chocolate as an aphrodisiac. Just make sure your melted chocolate isn’t too hot; there’s nothing as unsexy as a third-degree burn on your naughty bits. Babeland, 94 Rivington St between Ludlow and Orchard Sts (212-375-1701, babeland.com). Feb 13 at 12:30pm; free.

Violet
For dinner theater with a difference, try New Hue’s sensory feast Violet. The 360-degree show uses the color purple as a starting point for circus acts, belly dancers and video projections. Waiters on stilts serve an aphrodisiac-heavy meal of oysters, sea scallops and a chocolate crème brûlée. House of Yes, 342 Maujer St between Morgan Ave and Waterbury St, Williamsburg, Brooklyn (347-599-1341, newhue.org). Feb 13 at 7pm; $95, $35 (without dinner).

Winter Film Festival at Citi Pond at Bryant Park
If you’re looking for an excuse to get close, take your beau to a free outdoor screening of the rom-com The Cutting Edge by the skating rink in Bryant Park, and suggest cuddling for warmth. Grab a hot chocolate with marshmallows ($3) from the Ice Bites concession, or watch from the glass-walled bar and restaurant Celsius. While you’re there, skate around the rink holding hands (skate rental $13). Sixth Ave between 40th and 42nd Sts (212-661-6640, thepondatbryantpark.com). Feb 14 at 6:30pm; free.

A Scintillating Valentine’s Day Experience
Forget the trite romantic dinner that costs a month’s rent. This extravagantly named cooking course teaches couples how to make their cake and eat it, too. Chef Richard LaMarita shows lovebirds how to prepare delicacies including oysters, wild-mushroom crostini, beet ravioli and roasted salmon. Afterward, sit down and enjoy the fruits of your labor with wine matched to every course. Natural Gourmet Institute, 48 W 21st St between Fifth and Sixth Aves (212-645-5170, ext 4; naturalgourmetinstitute.com). Feb 14 at 6:30pm; $260 per couple.

Valentine’s Day Cruise
Climb aboard a cruise on the Hudson River for a swoony Valentine’s Day—at the very least, you’re guaranteed a captive date. A buffet dinner and dancing is included, and lovers can choose three packages: silver (with a champagne toast and a rose), gold (including a bottle of wine, a photo package and half a dozen roses) or platinum (all of the above, plus a guaranteed window table). The Spirit of New York and the Bateaux push off from Chelsea Piers. 23rd St at the Hudson River (866-483-3866, entertainmentcruises.com). Feb 14: departs 6:30pm; $99.90–$199.90 per person.

Romance Under the Stars
Do you wish you could spend a night gazing at the stars with your latest honey? Any attempt to do this in real life could end in frostbite and hypothermia, but fear not: The American Museum of Natural History is throwing a Valentine’s Day bash for astrologically inclined couples at the Hayden Planetarium. Enjoy nibbles and a one-hour open bar with cocktails and champagne while the Josh Rutner Quartet plays, then cozy up inside the planetarium for romantic stories based on the mythology of the stars. Central Park West at 79th St (212-769-5100, amnh.org). Feb 14 at 6:30pm; $75.
Win a pair of tickets to this event!

Flavor Mashup: Valentine’s Day Chocolate Fondue
The sensual food craze of the ’60s is revived for the most romantic of holidays, at a sports bar that boasts an incongruously refined French menu. Couples are encouraged to dunk as much food (fruits, pretzels, bacon) into their take-home chocolate fondue kit as they can. At the end of the evening, you can vote on the best mash-ups: Most Awesome, Most Unexpectedly Delicious and Most Adventurous Failed Experiment. Traffic Bar & Restaurant, 986 Second Ave between 52nd and 53rd Sts (888-440-4670, hotpotevents.com). Feb 14 at 8pm; $40 per person, $70 per couple.

Anti–Valentine’s Day events

The Valentine’s Day That Changed America
If you’ve been cruelly dumped and feel consumed by the loss of someone special, console yourself with a story of tragedy turned into triumph. Patricia O’Toole (When Trumpets Call: Theodore Roosevelt After the White House) will discuss how future President Theodore Roosevelt dealt with the deaths of his mother and wife on Valentine’s Day in 1884, and how it influenced his path through life. Afterward, Green-Wood Cemetery historian Jeff Richman will conduct a tour of the ladies’ graves. Green-Wood Cemetery Chapel, 500 25th St at Fifth Ave, Sunset Park, Brooklyn (718-768-7300, green-wood.com). Feb 12 at 1pm; talk free, tour $20, members $10.

A Dark and Twisted Valentine’s Day
The editors of the publishing collective Mischief + Mayhem don’t gloss over the ugly, creepy, stalkerish and cringeworthy aspects of love with readings from Marian Fontana, Ben Greenman and Hannah Tinti. Novelist Lisa Dierbeck reads from her book The Autobiography of Jenny X, envisioning vengeance on her ex from hell. Housing Works Bookstore Cafe, 126 Crosby St between E Houston and Prince Sts (212-334-3324, housingworks.org). Feb 14 at 7pm; free.

Shot Through the Heart: Stories of Beaus and Arrows
Does the thought of Valentine’s Day have you reaching for a bucket (or the tissues)? The folks at the Moth feel your pain. The not-for-profit organization has assembled a fine group of storytellers—including Saturday Night Live star Rachel Dratch—to open up on the topic of heartbreak. Dumpers, dumpees, love and loss…don’t expect a string of sob stories, but an acerbic look at backfired relationships. The Great Hall at Cooper Union, 7 E 7th St at Third Ave (646-205-2726, themoth.org). Feb 10 at 7:30pm; $25.

Just Working on My Novel
This broken-hearts edition of the monthly get-together gives aspiring writers the chance to read snippets of their unpublished work, and be critiqued by fellow scribes and a tipsy crowd high on the open wine bar. The proceedings are led by author Andrew Shaffer, whose revelatory Great Philosophers Who Failed at Love is an essential read for anyone who’s worried they stink at romance: You haven’t been rejected as many time as Nietzsche was, nor did you kill God. Word, 126 Franklin St at Milton St, Greenpoint, Brooklyn (718-383-0096, wordbrooklyn.com). Fri 11 at 7pm; free.

Anti-Valentine’s Day Riot Grrrl Cover Show
Feminists, punk rockers and scorned lovers, unite: You’ll find no sappy, patriarchal love songs here. The third annual Anti–Valentine’s Day show kicks off at Death by Audio with performances of songs by women-only bands like Bikini Kill, Bangs and Bratmobile, with tables set up by Wardrobe Boutique, feminist organization For the Birds Collective and others. 49 South 2nd St between Kent and Wythe Aves, Williamsburg, Brooklyn (forthebirdscollective.org). Feb 14 at 6:30pm; $5–$10.